Life’s End


Mom and Me Nov 2009

The days go by much more quickly than they used to. Squatting down to put Spike’s harness and leash on makes my knees pop louder than they did last year. I look to the future and can’t see how I can ever retire. It seems life is never all sunshine and lollipops, but rather one adaptation after another. But there are good times, too, I know.

Not so right now. My mother passed away very recently, and I hurt inside. She was 92 when it happened…quietly in her sleep. At least that’s what the attending nurse told my sister and me when we went to the hospital to sign the release papers. I hope that’s true.

She was a wonderful person. She practically had to raise us kids on her own because Dad worked so much. He’d leave in the morning and not get home until very late. Back then wives were not supposed to work outside of running the household. She did manage to bring in a bit of extra money by teaching the neighborhood girls how to embroider. And she did the ironing for one of the older ladies up the street.

Mom was one of those mothers who joined the PTA, volunteering for all those bake sales and carnivals. She also headed up the Alter Guild at church before it got to be just too hard on her. When my dad died she tried to keep herself busy by being the chairperson for Bingo in her retirement community. All this made her a very well-known person in her circle of friends and neighbors. But she always put the family first.

She lived alone (not counting the mother and daughter she took in when they lost their home) up until this year. When she had a couple of nasty falls the doctor talked her into moving into an assisted living home where once again she was the life of the party. If I remember right it was in April or May. She really enjoyed life there. I think she was relieved not to have to fix her meals, clean house, etc.

All that activity for all of her life always amazed me because I knew how dreadfully shy she was. But that was never shown to others. They all saw her as a leader and a dear friend. She used to call it “playing PTA” when she would start a project and then get others to join in just by showing how much fun she was having.

My sister, niece, daughters and I got the unpleasant chore of packing up Mom’s house and getting it ready for sale when she moved into the home. The rest of the family pitched in to help move the furniture to storage. When it was all done I stopped in at the house one more time to check for missed items. The place was so very empty. I had to remind myself that Mom was still alive. My sister took all this work of selling the place hard, too. I kept telling her that it was not so bad. Mom was having a great time in her new home.

Now Mom is gone from this Earth though she still lives in my heart and always will. The holidays are going to really suck this year just like they did when my dad died. It was around the same time of year when he succumbed to cancer.

I’m gonna miss you for a very long time, Mom.

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About Bill Mosca

Programmer/Analyst, Database Administrator in the Healthcare Industry
This entry was posted in Mind Musings. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Life’s End

  1. Crystal says:

    Beautiful, Bill. Your mother sounds so wonderful, you were very lucky to have that. I can only dream … and change things for my own children so they have what I did not.

    My grandmother, God rest her beautiful soul, died 17 years ago — she was either 92 or 93, no one knows for sure. I was closer to her than anyone else; for years, she was the only one I could talk to and conversations with her brought me happiness, which I did not have much of when I was growing up. Tears still come to my eyes when I think about her being gone.

    She died in April. The Christmas after her death, the last present I saw was right next to the base of the tree (my mother put it there without me knowing — one of the kindest things she ever did for me). My eyes swelled when I read the familiar writing. Even though my grandmother had been gone for 8 months, she had already knitted a pair of slippers for me and wrapped them.

    It is always hard to say goodbye to those we love

    ~Crystal

  2. Ron Nolan says:

    Bill,
    Your writing about your mother is very heartwarming. I am so sorry for your loss. My only disappointment with it is that I did not get the honor and privelege to have been able to meet her and talk to her. Sounds like she impacted many in her circle of influence all for the better. And so many had the privelege of knowing her!! I don’t know where your music interests lie in the grand scheme of things, but I often enjoy listening to solo piano music streamed at solopianoradio.com, a website founded by my good friend pianist David Nevue. I listen to it everyday while I write code and enjoy it. I listen and often think about my own mother who I lost in 1990 at the age of 52. And yes, those first few Christmases are tough, but let me encourage you, they do get better even though we still miss them. Take care and blessings to you and your family.

    -Ron Nolan (‘RLN60’ in the Access Developers Forum)

    • wrmosca says:

      Ron – Thank you very much for the kind words. Sorry to hear you lost your mother at such a young age. It must have been very painful for you and your family.

      I’ve bookmarked solopianoradio.com and have it streaming right now. Very nice. I usually code while listening to Pandora.com with my “Enya” channel. She’s a New Wave artist that I find very soul-filling. I’ve tried to code listening to other kinds of music (I like everything from Bluegrass to opera), but most of it is too distracting.

  3. John Viescas says:

    Your mother sounds much like mine. My mom grew up in England and supported herself as a dance teacher. Met my dad in the UK during WW II. When he mustered out, he sent a proposal by mail, and she accepted! She’d never been out of England, but in September 1946 flew from London to El Paso, Texas by herself. My dad was working in a silver mine in Mexico at the time, so wasn’t even there to meet her! He sent one of his sisters, then joined her the next day, and they went up to Las Cruces, NM, to get married on September 29, 1946. I was born exactly one year later. She was always a “homemaker” after that, doing a fine job of raising me and my sister. She and dad loved to dance together, and when he passed away (age 83), she was always looking for a dance partner. Here’s a picture of me dancing with her when she was 92. http://heritage.viescas.com/wp-content/uploads/35-Mom_11.jpg She finally succombed to kidney failure a few days before her 95th birthday.

    • Bill Mosca says:

      Thanks for the comment, John and sorry it took so long for me to approve it. I haven’t been doing much on line lately due to workload and personal things taking up my time.
      Your mom sounds like a woman with a strong will and a big heart. I’m sorry for your loss.

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