A friend of mine, Nelly, recently loaned the use of her house and backyard to one of her friends, Cally. Cally had just lost a good friend of her own, Bert, to pneumonia. The deceased’s sisters were unable to afford to rent a place to celebrate his life so Cally asked Nelly if she would let them use her back yard for the afternoon. Nelly has a heart of gold and Cally is a great friend so Nelly agreed provided she did not have to barricade her rottweiler, Zeus, in a back bedroom all day.
“No problem!” Cally said. So Cally and Bert’s sisters spent the morning setting up tables with plates and cups. It was a BYOB and folks were to bring some food to share. Around 1:00 in the afternoon the guests started showing up. Now Bert had some interesting friends. One couple was a man and his wife. This guy wore a kilt to things like birthdays, weddings and memorials. So naturally, he was wearing a kilt when he arrived. Kinda cool, but kinda weird. His wife walked through the front door right into the face of Zeus. Now Zeus is a very friendly guy so he just stared at them. The woman, terrified of this huge animal, pinned herself up against the wall and refused to move.
Well, there goes Rule #1. Zeus ended up in the bedroom. Kiltman and the Wallflower made it out to the backyard to mingle. A few minutes into the gathering Wallflower announced that she had new dentures and they were hurting her gums so she was going to take the out. Out they came in front of everyone. She then thoughtfully wrapped them in a paper napkin and set them down on a small table beside her.
As the party wound down, Wallflower suddenly yelled out, “I can’t find my teeth! I think they got thrown away!” Guests started looking through the various trash containers trying to help out. Wallflower was getting pretty flustered. Those store-bought teeth were expensive! Suddenly, Wallflower called out, “I found them! they were in my bra!” A hearty “hurray!” mixed with some genuine belly laughs went up.
As Jeff Foxworthy might have said, “You might be a red neck if…you find your false teeth in your bra at a memorial gathering.”